And now for something completely different (kinda)

So it’s now the beginning of September and there’s been a lot of changes in my world. New job, new house, new theology course and thankfully fresh energy following a restful summer.

I’m currently sat in the house on my own waiting for new housemates to arrive in the next couple of weeks. Just handed in my first assignment for the King’s School of Theology course despite my laptop’s many attempts to sabotage me. After many months of component failures, it is time for a new computer, so we can add that to the list.

In all honesty, I’m a little apprehensive about the coming year. I’m expecting it to be the busiest one yet and to be stretched beyond anything I’ve experienced before. Yet, whereas a few years ago I would have dreaded such an experience, I’m now looking forward to looking back (if that makes any sense).

Finishing Grenz and Olsen’s book, I’m now looking to figure out what the lynchpin of my theological understanding is. What is the central focus of my understanding of the nature of God?

However, “good theology always moves from the head to the heart and finally to the hands.” and as such it’s been a pleasure to see my friends get involved with various things in Oxford.

For a great example see the fun day had in East Oxford.

Finally I’m not looking forward particularly to the new routine of early mornings that need to take place. 6am is not the friendliest of times, but the new school looks promising and encouraging.

So in short, lots of new things happening. Please feel free to pray for:

1) Settling into the community and meeting new people.

2) Good relationships with the new housemates.

3) A brilliant start to term that has no compromise about my faith.

4) Persistence and faith to see God work through my own study.

5) Anything else I’ve mentioned or God lays on your hearts.

 

With much love.

Alan

Emotional ends and new beginnings

So we’ve reached the end of term and it’s time for another summer holiday! I’ve packed my bags and moved out of school, not without many tears and a few goodbye drinks. I’ve also said goodbye to Mark and Dave from our house. I’ll be leaving myself in a few weeks to move into a smaller house nearby (complete with dishwasher!).

However, God has been working out new things in my life over the past few weeks. Mainly due to how big He is and how little I can understand about Him at the moment. This all started when trying to define love. We know the well rehearsed phrase that “God is Love” and if you’ve been to a few weddings you’ll know that “love is patient and kind,… it keeps no record of wrongs… always trusts, always perseveres..”  and so on.

But what stumped me was this. Love is not greater than God. God does not look at the blueprint for love and try to change Himself to fit within it. Rather, God, by being God defines what love is by His own nature and the relationship between the persons of the Trinity. But this leaves us with an issue. We have to let go of our judgement of whether God is loving or not. By definition; God is love. He is just, merciful, holy and eternal and my views on what each of these mean is imperfect. He holds the measuring stick for each of these natures, whilst I’m simply guessing with my thumb like an artist.

There’s one way to refine my viewpoint here. In essence I need to draw closer to Him. To align my viewpoint of goodness with His. Many thanks go out to Bex for helping me articulate this. Her dissertation on suffering was raw, honest and humble.

In other good news, I’m finding some time to rest and have got two housemates for the next year. Boxes are mostly packed and ready to move in the next few weeks after Transform and Falcon Camp.

For those of you still reading. Can I ask that you pray for Ignite; the Kidswork at Transform. We’ll have around 200 kids seeking God and what it means to have “Christ in you, the hope of Glory”

With much love.

Alan

Getting back into the groove

Sooooo after two years of silence….. I’m back!

After a little bit of cajoling from a friend, I thought I’d get back into the blogosphere and share some thoughts and prayer requests again.

For those of you who only see this life through the internet, here’s a quick overview of the past couple of years.

Sept 2009: Started PGCE training here in Oxford with the intention of becoming a Science Teacher. (Physics in particular).

Summer 2010: Had an awesome holiday with some great friends in USA. (Lis and Drew: your wedding was amazing btw!) Chicago, Niagara Falls, Detroit, Cedar Falls and more.

Sept 2010: Started my NQT year teaching at a school in Oxford; which was a massive blessing and enabled me to stay with OCC, (The community church, rather than the city council, county council or computing company) and live in the same house with some good friends. I was also reintroduced to the world of taxes, and introduced to the world of pensions and student loan repayments

This school has been a great place of friendship, with many other new teachers and some amazing kids. Despite falling over in lessons and more than a few verbal slip-ups, I can honestly say I love my job and feel that it is God’s plan for the next few years at least that I teach. There has been nothing quite like a kid coming up and saying “that’s my teacher!”.

All these blessings have been amazing and I’ve built some very deep friendships with those still left in Oxford. However, life is not static and with a little push from both myself and a few close friends I’ve decided to move into a local estate this summer and also to take up some theological training in my spare time.

This has been partly due to a continued sense that I’ve only begun to scratch the surface of what God might do with this life. Also I want to know him more deeply.

For those of you that know me well, I hope that this doesn’t sound too serious! There’s been much mischief still including:

-Making a gunge nose for Kids Club

- A few silly dances at church

Ms Cole has nothing on us :P

As well as dressing up as a 6ft bunny for an Easter egg hunt!

 

This is meant for just a quick catch-up on life, more detail will follow soon , but I’ll leave you with some prayer points and an interesting thought:

 

1) Housemates for next year and a suitable house/flat. (Once I’d resolved to live on this estate, God provided a

2) Settling into my new school well this September and maintaining strong friendships with the staff from the current one.

3) Opportunities to share God’s love with the families and individuals in the local community.

4) More intimacy with God, through prayer and Scripture: This is more important than all the others, and the one I need most.

 

Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”

Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”  - Exodus 33:15-18

My life is turning out well filled with many blessings. However, it will not count for anything unless God is living in it. Moses knew that he couldn’t go anywhere or do anything worthwhile without God being there. What about you?

Confidence

This past month has been a great encouragement and I feel I'm now out of the darkest days.
Thanks to those of you who have offered prayers, words of encouragement and friendship. This blog was intended to keep people updated with my life and show what God's been up to.

In the past five weeks, there have been countless birthdays, including my own. This was a great day and I was pleasantly surprised to have so many great people in the room all at once. It's always a little odd when different aspects of your world collide, but thankfully most things went off without problem.

Starting the 23rd year of my life in a field trying to see the stars through the clouds was brilliant. I was reminded of how small I am, and also how great God is. Even though itwas dark and a little cold, there were good friends alongside me (In fact it was a couple of these who dragged me out to the top of Shotover at such an early hour- You know who you are)

Rachel, my sister came down the next morning and joined us for brunch (good work from the percy boys) before the crowds came over ready for bowling. Bowling was great and after Jeremy Clarkson (of Top Gear fame) popped into the bowling ally, the day had a touch of celebrity to it.

Heading back to the house for drinks and food, we were joined by some of my work colleagues, who fitted in quickly. The usual happy birthday singing and cake combo was used with an amazingly picked Spiderman cake. I felt 7 all over again and the coloured icing was enough to keep me going for the rest of the evening. Hugh and a few others treated me to a little dance they'd prepared.

Then as the party died down a little, a group of us headed out for some clubbing at the recently renamed O2 academy. There we were all blessed by having a mini-set from Electric 6. Well worth the entry price to the club. Old school tunes and good friends, finished off a great day. Got in at 2am and crammed some sleep in before heading off to Gloucester in the morning.

March 15th started with a 30 minute cycle across Oxford, then an hour to Gloucester in the car with Mike. Over the past couple of months, I've spent a little time with him enjoying his company and watching him preach. He's challenged me about how to prepare and deliver God's word to others and also shared some of his experiences. This week he was speaking on how God has already declared us not guilty in the end judgement. This is God's final word on the matter and will not change! I felt a massive burden fall off my shoulders that morning, and was doubly blessed by being able to have dinner with Barney Combes and members of his family for lunch.

This man oozed patience and love, told amazing stories of God showing up in airports and in trinket shops. I'd never been on such good behaviour before yet had an amazing sense of peace.

I've also been working on stepping out in the prophetic, sharing good news with people and loving them more deeply. A few people have commented on what they've read here, and those that know me hopefully see that God has put hope in my life. If one other person in the whole world can really see that, then my trials have not been in vain. Thanks to Him who gives me strength to share His story with others. I've also started to write down the beginnings of an autobiography. However I expect this will take a few years to complete.

Easter came quite quickly wth lots of travelling around, events and visiting people. It was great to catch up with some old school and university friends and see where they're at. God is still working with these guys and they're in my prayers regularly.

Finally here's some things that I'd appreciate prayers for, most of them are practical, but some are ongoing;

• That God would restore my relationship with my mother and sister Laura over the coming months.
• That John would have peace, despite not being able to see his daughter at this time.
• That my application for student finance goes through quickly.
• That I can carry a sense of God's peace in my heart deeply this month. (The 15th April was the 2-year anniversary of my sister's death)
• That I can witness to those at work as I leave.
• That I will see continued growth with the children I come into contact with and also in myself.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39

With Love in Christ

Alan

A year later

Sitting and typing this is feeling more than a little weird.

I don't know who is still reading or getting this but here's an update from the last 10 months.

Things got tough, very tough. Situations that I've been praying for have not turned out the way I wanted them to, and some have still no been resolved.

Thanks to all of you who were praying for Matt and Nicola, they brought their wedding forward due to Matt's illness. It was a simple wedding at the college chapel, but struck home rather strongly how precious life is and how important an issue marriage is still in our society.

I saw a strength of character in both members of that couple that left me awestruck. Despite being now wheelchair bound and obviously weakened. My dear friend was able to speak loudly and proudly of his love for Nicola. Tragically, Matt passed away less than a day after his wedding, earthly death had won. However, I trust Matt is gazing into the eyes of one who loves him more than we ever could. Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

It was an amazing privilege to be asked to give a speech at Matt's memorial service. Whilst others spoke of what a great loss we had experienced. God reminded me of how much He had given us in the life of Matthew. A true brother, an example of love that knew what the words "till death us do part" meant. I am blessed to have been part of Matt's life, but even more so in sharing in his death. He showed me a courage I long to emulate.

Sadly this was not the only thing to happen last year, God appears to be refining me. I hope one day to appear as pure gold, but at the moment I am painfully aware of my imperfections that he has brought to the surface. God loves family, I have no doubt about that, yet over the past six years I have been stripped of my family and given a new home.

After the death of my father six and a half years ago, I had to make the choice to follow God or abandon Him. As a naive sixteen year old, this choice wasn't hard. God was all I needed, right?

Age 19, I pray the most stupid prayer in the history of prayers. "God will you come and break me down and rebuild me how you want?"

Three years later, I find myself in the middle of the answer to that request. Following the sudden death of my dear sister two years ago, and my biological mother abandoning me and taking my younger sister with her last autumn. (I hate to use the word abandoned, however that has been the closest word I can find to express my feelings about this). How do I explain this in light of a God who loves? I'm still not sure to be honest. However, he has opened my eyes to a wider family than those four I am biologically related to. He has placed brothers and sisters, spiritual mothers and fathers around me. But most importantly, He has shown me that He is the one rock that will not move, he is the firm foundation in times of family breakup, in the credit crunch. When famine, darkness, sword and death are alltat I can see. Still my heart knows, that HE IS GOD!

There are still plans for my life, plans he made. So I keep trusting, despite how hard and often painful it is. I keep praying, even though I don't always like the answers. I keep praising Him, for even though my world may appear to have crumbled at times, He still is worthy of my everything, no matter how small or how feeble.

Please continue to pray for me. I write this in a moment of quiet confidence in my saviour. However, this confidence is not always the first thought in my mind. I have had a few months in "the valley of the shadow of death". I am being shaped by God, but he has been using you to do this.

With much love as ever.
Alan (broken but still going)

Poland

Hello, once again I've been a little behind on the blogging front, but this time I've got some nice pictures to distract you all from my waffling.

Four of us from the year-team have just come back from the lovely city of Lodz in Poland where we've spent the last week.

Whilst we were out there we did lots of work with children, in estates and also in an orphanage. The kids were all amazing, and to see them smile brought us all great joy. We spent our days playing football, doing face-painting and balloon-modelling. Also by the end of the week, we were able to give most of the kids piggy-backs etc, because God had completely overcome the language barrier by pouring love out on these kids through the team.

Also while were out there we had the opportunity to pray with members of pastor Karol's church for various healings.

Heading out with the rest of the team was great, being able to support one another when things got tough. Tom, Josie, Katie, Lisa and Roger- you are all legends and it's been a great honour getting to know you all this last week.

There was quite a culture shock with all the new food, as well as not speaking any Polish. Massive thanks to all the youth who helped with translation. If you're into a heavy rock music (and understand Polish) you might want to check these guys out. They're called Lostenfound and are made up from the youth at the church we were working with.


On top of the other bits and pieces, we've still been trying to run C.U at College. (however, with the exams looming we've had a few weeks wit honly one person turning up).

Kids work is going ok, and we're starting to wind down for the summer.

Other aspects of life are stepping up again, in under 3 months I'll be heading out to Malawi with some friends on a mission trip. In order to help fund this, I'll be spending next weekend in silence. If you'd like to sponsor me please drop me an line at alanbills86@gmail.com.

This saturday is another wedding, which'll be great fun. It'll be good to see the Wong family again. Please be praying for good weather for the happy couple.

Year-team is coming to an end, but things are still busy, we've got a couple of essays left to do and plans for youth and kids work still need to be made. I'm hoping that things will settle down a little more over the summer and God'll give me an idea of what I should be involved with in the church.

For those of you who support me in prayer, I want to say thank you. Each one makes a difference in my life. As usual it'd be great if you could be praying for some of the following things.

• Thanks for the great time we had in Poland, working with the children there. God helped me rediscover some of the passion he put in me for this work

• That the senior management team would make a decision on my role at work soon.

• For some peaceful resolution with family problems at the moment.

• For Matt C & his finacee Nicola, Matt's lukemia means he will need a bone marrow transplant. Please pray for a suitable donor to arise and/or a miracle from God.

• For God to continue to provide the funds for this trip to Malawi. He's been faithful so far and I want to thank Him for that.

• Finally, for all the friends I've made in Oxford that will be leaving this summer, I hope to keep in touch with them all to whatever extent possible.

Blessings and much love to you all.

Alan :D

Mid-April

Hey guys,

Despite my earnest efforts to update you a bit more regularly, April is already upon us.

This month has been rather frantic, but things are settling down at the moment.
I'm currently in the middle of my 'easter' vacation from work. However, due to our bathroom being refurbished, it's a little less pleasant than usual.

However, last weekend I did manage to get away for a couple of days to Wales with some brilliant friends from Oxford. Staying in a lovely bunkhouse, we embarked on walking, uno and general bantering fun. I was awoken after the first night to see the beautiful lake surrounded by hills white with the snow from the previous night. It was sunday morning, and being in the middle of nowhere, we led our own church service in the warmth of the bunkhouse. God was speaking strongly about changing perspectives on situations and seeing things in a new light.

This month, things are settling down with regards to employment and housing for next year. The plan is to stay working with the college and maybe take on more hours, pushing towards a full-time job. Also, the delightful Percy Boys have agreed to take me on as one of them next year. - ROOM UPGRADE.

Sadly, there are troubles and hardships to be endured. Exactly one year ago, my sister, Kirsty passed away very suddenly. I was in Paris at the time on a prayer/mission trip with some friends. So today is a tough time for me. Any prayers would be gratefully received.

However, the plan is generally to keep myself fairly busy, so last week I prepared a mini-sermon for a youth-alpha course a local church was running. I had the joy of giving it to 11 young people on Sunday, and hopefully it went down well. This week we have kids club once again, this month looking at who Jesus is, which should be amazing.

Plans are coming together for the summer kids club week as well, so my summer's filling up already. Also, have a 2-week trip to Malawi planned with some friends in Sheffield. We'll be out there helping with building projects and teaching children and adults. I'm really looking forward to this as it'll be my first time out of Europe and a very different experience to most other trips I've been on.

It's now getting late, so I'll finish with a few prayer points:

• Please continue praying for Matt (His last set of chemo results weren't as good as hoped for, but he's remaining optimistic)
• Me, at this difficult time of year.
• For kids club to attract more kids and leaders to work with them.
• Thanks for a job and housing for next year.
• For the book review due in next week (I'm reading Terry Virgo - No Well worn paths)

Thanks again for all your time, prayers and support.

Alan

I want to say thank you to everyone who's been keeping time for me over the past few weeks.
(Matt, Colin, Amy and Andy, Christa and Helen, Iain, Kay, Hugh and the percy boys, and many more. Each distraction helps my pull my head out of my navel and refocus on the bigger picture.)